April 1. 2008
Impacts ….
Hi again. This writing, which was started on the day before Thanksgiving, is the result of some friendly prodding from one of my friends, Tony, with whom I had an impromptu visit earlier that week. He had the chutzpah to tell me that this column is overdue and I need to write again soon, and on a better schedule, as I have been letting things lapse and slide this year. So Tony, this is for you and the others who have gotten a smile or two in the past. Even though it is now April Fools Day, the story continues.
Tony has had a tough year, but doesn’t realize the strength he has and the impact he has on those who know him. He and I see each other somewhat infrequently, but keep in touch through our daughters who have been best friends since the 1st grade. We had that kind of a conversation in November that only grown men can have; no holds barred. Topics ranged from health, to the new granddaughter, to how to get the most comfort from an air conditioning system. A tear or two was shed; a laugh or two was enjoyed. It was a good five minute visit that lasted for an hour and a half.
I had no idea that Tony ever read this but he said that he managed to get a small smile out of the stories from time to time. This one’s for you, Tony. You never know how or what you do, or what you say, might have an impact on another.
In late October I was introduced to a gentleman from Mali, a small country in Africa, best known as where Timbuktu is. We met at a beautiful friend’s wedding and sat together throughout the dinner during the reception. He casually commented that he remembered something I had said during a talk I gave at a NIH Grand Rounds presentation over two years earlier. That talk had made an impact on him sitting in the audience, as at that time he had just been introduced to America. I was blown away when he made that remark; he was one in the audience that I had not seen or remembered. His comments made a larger impact on me; I never thought about people remembering me.
We recently had another Kennedy’s Disease Conference; this year it was in Las Vegas. My son, John, accompanied me on this trip and it was great to spend those five days in the company of such a fine man: he takes after his Mother, thank God! We shared laughs, good times and better company. He took off work for a week to go with me to assist me just in case, actually when, I needed assistance. A whole week spent with my son – impact.
I told the KDA attendees that I was going to the top of the Stratosphere Hotel and Casino, where there are the world’s highest rides. After spending 20 minutes climbing up those last 27 stairs leading to the top of this 1,149’ high landmark, then waiting a few minutes enjoying the sights from atop the highest building west of the Mississippi, the ride operators made me take off my shoes and glasses. Shoes: no problem. Glasses: I wanted to see what I came up there for. “Sir: if you do not take the glasses off, then you can not get on the ride.” The glasses came off, reluctantly. The ride was awesome!
Every other ride that I have been on that looks the same lifts you up about 100’ and then drops you like a stone. Not this one: You are catapulted up at a 4G force about 200’ and then you drop like the stone. The propulsion up was unbelievable as it was both unexpected as well as thrilling. Good thing my shoes and glasses were there at the bottom or else they would have been there. Try it when you get to Las Vegas.
Now I really like good rides. There is a family amusement park, Knoeble’s, in Elysburg, PA that still doesn’t charge daily admission; it still sells ride tickets: if you don’t use the tickets this year, save them for next year. I have some in the glove box from 5-6 years ago: they are still good for whenever I get there. They have one of the 10 best old wooden roller coasters and Mary I would stop, actually go there, as it isn’t on the way to anywhere; just for 30 minutes so I could ride the roller coaster a few times.
Impacts can come from many, many sources including, but not limited to:
· Art, Music, Books
· Beauty, Love
· Accidents
· God
· Children and Grandchildren
· People
· Health issues
· Life changes
· Death
One impacted memory I have is seeing a young couple, both very disabled in wheelchairs, sitting in the rear of a church in Albany, NY; very much in love. As they greeted each other during that part of the service, she radiated with the most beautiful of smiles as she finally was able to touch the man’s hand after struggling to maneuver limbs that wanted to do their own thinking. I saw them about 20 years ago and still can today.
The impact of that smile still makes my eyes water.
I have held a few people as they departed this life; each has its own place in my memory, which I notice from time to time isn’t quite as good as it maybe used to be. While I like to think that I can hold my own, I sometimes can’t seem to find it to hold. You all know what I’m not saying here. Ah! The impact of older age.
I’m still an usher in church; the only one in a wheelchair. This usher becomes a “Shusher” when the younger ones get out of hand, and I have found out that the kids listen to me sometimes a lot better than they do to their own parents. When one of the other ushers is not there on Sunday, I press my grandsons into service. The two older ones are excellent in their reverence as well as in assisting those in need. They are the only 8 and 10 year olds helping out and those two, coupled with their 5 year old brother, help with the three granddaughters in giving out the bulletins at the end of Mass. More than one attendee has commented on the impact of seeing those so young assisting some of the more elderly than me down the steps. The impact of seeing ones so young doing what is normally considered to be an old man’s job is truly great.
Mary and I are going on a Road Trip to visit family in Pensacola, Florida in two weeks, and we’ll be gone for two weeks. This is the first time in 20 years that we have been able to do something like this. While we have the outline of an itinerary, nothing will be cast in stone but to relax and enjoy each other and the trip. This should have a great impact on our lives.
I am embarrassed that this has taken so long for me to write. This year has been one of tremendous change. The new home is absolutely perfect! We moved in on 7/7/07 and have been busy smiling every day since then.
This “55 and Better” community sure has a lot of old folks living here. I can tell when I’m behind one of the residents when coming out the two-lane highway toward Taneytown – Speed limit 55; mostly everyone does 60, except that one person who always wanted to be the engineer of the train. Well, ya got your wish! Just look in the rear view mirror and see everyone following at your 38 mph.
I have the answer to road rage: re-enact the law everywhere that says
“Keep Right Except To Pass”
While that won’t help with the two lane roads, it sure will on the larger ones where 55 in the left lane is a real accident maker.
We are planning another KDA Conference, November 19-21, 2008 at the Marriott at BWI Airport; same place where we were in 2002. The plan is to begin with a get-together Crab & Beer Feast at Gunnings Crab House on Tuesday evening, 11/18 – We hope to see you there. The news of this year’s conference will be posted shortly on the KDA website.
See you in November!
John A. Coakley, Sr.
Taneytown, MD
April 1, 2008