It was a simple task, but it was hard to do. (January 2002)
I’ll be 60 this summer, and my mind thinks I’m still twenty at times. I can’t do some things as well as before. Here’s a case in point. Maybe you can share some of the feelings and smile along with me.
Saturday after Christmas, I took the lawn mower deck off of the tractor and put the snowplow on it so I can plow the driveway when it snows. This is a relatively simple job to do on my 16 HP John Deere garden tractor, and it’s something that I’ve done for at least six seasons with this particular model. No problem! Until this year.
My previous, older Cub Cadet had some alignment flaws, and every year, spring and fall, for ten years, it would take four to five hours for what should have been a forty-five minute job. I made up new cuss words every year as I bruised and cut my only good hands.
One of my happier days was when I bought this new John Deere back in ’96. All of the parts lined up perfectly, and the changeover task was accomplished in thirty minutes, back then. Worth every penny, even though I’m still in sticker shock six years later.
I don’t know what has happened to me since I started going slightly downhill with the Kennedy’s but that thirty minutes has grown--to four hours. All the alignments are still correct on the tractor. Here’s where the time went. Join me as I recount my adventure!
Getting on the garage floor was the easy part: getting off of the floor was a bugger. The mower deck weighs about 85 lbs and has wheels, which used to be an aid in moving it. Not any more! After it was mechanically disconnected and the drive belt removed, I had been on and off the floor three times. Dang, I forgot the vise grip. Up again. Time for a beer while I’m up, and back down again.
I always use the mower deck to mulch up an acre of oak leaves every fall. Maybe next year I’ll remember that they are stuck all inside under the cover plates where the drive belts are attached to the pulleys. Now I forgot the ratchets to remove the covers. By now you know where I’m going with this. Up and down; kind of like life.
Well, after another beer, which I had to get while I was looking for the broom and pan to get rid of the mulched leaves on the floor, I thought I’d be really smart and accomplish two things at once since I was up. It had taken about two hours to get to this point and the mower deck was on the floor. Every time I tried to lift it, it rolled. The snowplow blade with its five foot long ¼ x 1 ½" support arms was still leaning against the wall where it had been since early spring.
My brain kicked in high gear. I pulled out the old garage creeper and the creeper stool-- the one with the small pan in front between your legs to hold all the tools I should have gotten out before I started--now I was set to move around. Boy was I thinking ahead now!
In case you’ve never had the fun of using a creeper, let me paint you a picture. When I was a kid, auto mechanics used these to get around under the cars that were jacked up 8" or so. A creeper is nothing more than a piece of 5/16th" plywood that measures about 14" wide by 28" long, with a few cross braces. It sits on these four little metal saucer types that are attached to a swivel with a funny bent piece of metal; it’s about two inches off the floor, now with my head on the headrest my butt is almost on the floor (I’m 6’3", and about 225), and of course the beer is on the shelf, out of reach: but, at least I can move!
I pushed and steered with legs that don’t work as well as last year. Then it was time to get back up again. I thought "this should be easier ‘cause I’m 2" higher and off the floor". Wrong! Those casters really let the creeper move. Off the creeper and onto the floor and I try to stand up. Really s l o w this time.
Now, mind you, I’ve done this for years now and I know what I’m doing. You could say I’m almost a professional, but it’s so different this year. I’ve been living with this declination for a while, but this year everything takes more time. I probably need to shave again by now.
This time I sat on the creeper stool which is 8" high, got all the tools in front of me, had a new cold beer on the tool shelf right where I can get it, and hooked up the front supports and the two arms for the snow blade; but I had to get up off of this stool (which was one of the hardest things I had to in December) to raise the lift arm to make the final connection. If I was even a little bit smart, this is when I would’ve gone to the bathroom. Never been accused of being brilliant and not one to start a new tradition, I sat back down on the stool and made that last connection, and admired my work while my bladder started to scream.
Being a real man I whimpered. Rolled onto all fours, pulled one leg out from behind me with my cane wrapped around my ankle, and with sweat rolling off my forehead onto my glasses because I forgot to tie the last old diaper around my head four hours ago, and groaned loud. After an eternity working at getting up, I finally experienced relief.
Five minutes later I stepped back to admire my work. It had taken only three hours so far. Those wheels on the mower deck were the next thing to overcome. In years past they were a help. This year they were the bane of my day.
Don’t know any of you personally, but I hope you have more strength than I do. I could not lift the deck to an upright position no matter how I tried: no strength. And, as you already know by now, it rolled away from me! This 48" wide HEAVY piece had a mind of it’s own. "Chock the wheels" my brain said. "Can’t move that quick" my body replied. So I sat on the tractor seat, took another swig of now lukewarm beer, grabbed my cane by the street end, put the handle behind the wheel, pulled hard as I could, and it moved toward me and also turned in the direction where it was against the sidewall of the garage. With all the gusto left in me, I bent down, grabbed one short end and stood it up on the flat discharge side and "walked" it into the corner where it is today.
Time erases a lot of things. I had forgotten how much work that was until I got the tractor out and plowed the 5" of snow off the driveway night before last. I saw the mower deck sitting in the garage when I put the tractor back. Now I need a plan for reversing this in late March. Think I’ll start with keeping the beer cold. Too bad none of you live close to me; you could get a smile out of watching me this spring. Maybe I could sell you tickets for ringside seats.
Best to you all, and Enjoy Life!
John A. Coakley, Sr.
Westminster, MD